The day when nothing happened..

I still remember like it was yesterday ,the first day I saw your face ,still have inside my head your words playing over and over again the same old song,I still remember how much I used to love you...how can I forget everything we passed,everything we had, and most important ,how can I forget how many things you left behind when you decided to lie?!?If is there a way to forget all that ,please let me know because I can`t fight these demons I have inside of me,I am way too weak to face them in this moment,all I want is to lay down on the ground and sleep,maybe I`ll wake up in few hours,maybe tomorrow,or next day...or I won`t wake up at all...who knows?!? But I hope I still have a bit of luck and I won`t wake up at all...the best thing that can happen to both of us...
Once again I`ve lost all the trust I`ve had in people,once again I am down on my knees ,watching myself how I`m wasting all my time crying for this love that was never true,maybe it was in me,but in you it was only another reason to creat more lies around you...and it hurts so bad,it kills me bit by bit because I wish I could go back and change something...change what,change who,me...you?!?I don`t even know what I need to change,you were my reason to be,even though it was a lie,your love was my ray of light...and in the end it left me full of scars,wondering in the dark...oh,how I wish I could know,I wish I could see more or at least see different...I wish I could have the power to see what piece doesn`t fit in our painting and throw it away...but I`m still weak and small...I feel sorry for myself,that`s why I gave up on trying I guess,that`s why I`m just sitting here,doing nothing at all,just watching you,how you like to pretend that everything`s alright,how you fake every single smile and work on every word to make it look perfect,you are so perfect,you love me so much,and me...oh my God, im so full of issues and crazy thoughts...and yeah I am stupid and blind because I`m still here,next to you,because after all I still can`t leave you behind me,you fucking jerk,you still have that power on me,to put me on my knees over and over again...and you like so much to use it,you let me make few steps ahead then you pull the leash throwing me on the ground again...and I hate you so much,that much that maybe one day I`ll go crazy for good and I`ll put a knife in that dirty heart of yours,anyways you have it there for nothing...you really make me sick...and oh, how I wish I could say all this in your face,let all my rage blow and just leave...I will find my way somehow,don`t you worry,and I`ll bring you down on your knees just like you did with me so many times,I will smile again,I will find myself one day, and walk away...but still I am too weak and small..I`m just sitting on the floor,watching your perfect moves,in this perfect day...another day,another nightmare,and again...nothing happened out here...